A WORD FROM THE PUBLISHERS OF WORLD WIDE GLOBAL NEWS: CHICKEN AND FLOYD

Vashon Island, Washington, USA

Last cigarette, I swear.

Chicken and Floyd, publishers of the World Wide Global News.

Right now, you are probably thinking, what on earth is Worldwide Global News?

Good question. We often think the same thing.

But the truth is, Worldwide Global News, or WWGN, is a hard-hitting, fact-collecting agency that scours the world to find stories that make a difference to you.

How do we do it? We do the hard work, the dirty work, the work nobody else wants to do. We wear out shoe leather, follow up leads and cheat off the notes from other reporters. But we also have exclusive access to politicians, scientists, celebrities, and that guy who knows everything. So, rest assured that WWGN will only plagiarize from the very best sources.

WWGN offers both kinds of entertainment, podcasts, and posts.

Take that, Warner Brothers!

Podcasts:

The podcasts begin as a live radio program called the Mostly True Radio Show. It has been around for about seven years and airs on the Voice of Vashon, KVSH, 101.9, every Friday at 4 PM. You can find it on the web at voiceofvashon.org.

About half of the radio show is music, but we can’t make a podcast with music because the licensing goons will come knocking. So, each show is put through the Change-a-Tron 5000 and comes out as the World Wide Global News podcast. During the process, the music has been removed as well as boring stuff, like PSAs, underwriter messages, and weather reports - the show is located in the Pacific Northwest, so just assume it’s raining.

Posts:

Posts begin when two brain cells start arguing:

“Oh yeah, well, I can come up with an, even more, stupider idea!”

And voila, magically, something gets posted.

And what does Floyd have to say about all this?

Well, Floyd is a chicken. He can’t talk. But, if the volume of chicken poop around here is any indication, he’s very excited.

How will it work?

New content will be posted every week. Typically it will alternate between a podcast and a post. Anyone can use the site whether they have a subscription or not, but we hope you will sign up to support the WWGN.

Free subscription:

With a freebie subscription, you will be emailed a weekly notice when new content is available. Below are links to five podcasts and five posts to give you an idea about the content. All are free and complete. Otherwise, free subscribers can listen to a portion of each podcast and read a portion of each post. After that, a paid subscription will be needed to enjoy the entire site, including the complete archives.

Paid subscription:

A paid subscription can be had for 5 dollars a month. That’s right, for only the cost of a five-dollar bill, you can have weekly content delivered to your inbox. A yearly 50-dollar subscription gets you two months free.

Regardless of your subscription status, WWGN will not sell, rent or exchange your information.

Please enjoy the site, and if you feel we are worthy of a paid subscription, that will help immensely. It might even keep me from having to eat Floyd.

Welcome to World Wide Global News!

World Wide Global News is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Thanks for considering.

Below are links to free and full podcasts and posts:


World Wide Global News
Free: THE DUTCH HAVE A POOP BANK WITH A VERY, VERY LOW RATE OF INTEREST
Listen now (30 min) | At the Poop Bank, it’s better to deposit than withdraw. Crapto-currency is the next big thing

Listen now

World Wide Global News
Free: “COUNCIL OF DEER” DECIDES HOW MANY VEHICLE ACCIDENTS TO CAUSE NEXT YEAR
Local mole uncovers crime syndicate among area deer population

Read more

World Wide Global News
Free: SCIENCE RECREATES MENSTRUAL CYCLE IN THE LAB
Listen now (32 min) | “Yay, more periods!” said no one. “Mmmm, Adele air

Listen now

World Wide Global News
Free: ARNOLD “THE TERMINATOR” SCHWARZENEGGER BEGINS RISKY NEW BUSINESS VENTURE
Arnold Schwarzenegger, producer, entrepreneur, and former California governor, puts up entire fortune to sell used cars

Read more

World Wide Global News
Free: CRIMINAL MASTERMIND ROBS STORE DISGUISED IN CLEAR PLASTIC BAG
Listen now (32 min) | CCTV image of alleged criminal. “Smells like Uranus in here

Listen now

World Wide Global News
Free: MANATEE FOUND LIVING IN LOCAL POND 3000 MILES FROM HOME WATERS
Bird-watching group astonished to find a large aquatic mammal among the grebes

Read more

World Wide Global News
Free: PARKOUR ON A FIRST DATE? BAD IDEA.
Listen now (30 min) | “Worst. Date. Ever.” “I thought we were going to dinner and a sex doll brothel

Listen now

World Wide Global News
Free: BATTALION OF DISNEY LAWYERS LAND ON LOCAL BEACHES
Container ship spills several tons of licensed Disney products into local waters

Read more

World Wide Global News
Free: BAKING BAD
Listen now (16 min) | “I AM THE ONE WHO KNEADS!” Stay out of my kitchen

Listen now

World Wide Global News
Free: SCIENCE FINALLY ANSWERS THE QUESTION: WHY DIKES?
Centuries-old document reveals the reasons behind Dutch dikes

Read more

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World Wide Global News is the antidote for real news, bad news, and real bad news. It's not The ONION. It's a news leek.

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Good grades in high school and was never late for home room.